A Single Dad Life

Mothers' Day

2006-05-15T11:25:00.000-05:00

The kids were with their mom yesterday. Mothers' Day is a rather odd holiday for me. My money and time are spent to buy a present for the woman that spends little time with our children. Of course, the present is for the kids' sake. They deserve to have two parents that love them and that they can love back. The kids came back last night pretty happy, although that degenerated into bickering.

Been so long!

2006-04-30T14:14:00.000-05:00

I have been way busy! First, I began learning how to play cello. I've wanted to learn for about nine years. I bought a cello from these guys. I've learned a lot, but I'm not convinced, nor are my kids, that I have any real talent. Still, I have a good time playing.

I met a single mom of two cool boys. The mom and I have been spending a lot of time chatting, talking, etc. Unfortunately, she lives a long way away and moving my kids from their mom isn't without consquence. I've got a lot of planning to do.

Spam?

2005-09-11T19:46:00.000-05:00

I finally get my internet back up and check out my blog and immediately get two spam comments. WTF.

Internet back up

2005-09-11T16:54:00.000-05:00

My internet service was down for a couple months. Apparantly, I can't upgrade Windows 98 to SE without problems. I figured it out though.

Neopets

2005-07-05T16:48:00.000-05:00

At the bottom of my page is a link to Neopets. This site has been a time-burner for my daughter. She enjoys the boards, where fantasy role playing seems to be the theme. A couple of her friends from school are members and they can chat back and forth through the boards. I haven't found an actual chat function, which is fine by me. There are games where you can earn points and buy virtual gear. You can, of course, get your own smarmy little pets, hence the name: Neopets. The site has really been teaching my daughter about setting up pages and playing with HTML. Plus, she is learning to type and write. It's groovy. As far as I've seen it is a kid-safe site, but there are adults that have pages. So, as always, monitoring what your kids are doing on the net is a must.

Huffing

2005-06-28T05:16:00.000-05:00

Have you heard about huffing? Just when you thought you'd covered all the bases by discussing teen pregnancy, aids, glue-sniffing, dope, etc. Time to throw away all our aerosol cans.

Schools out

2005-06-11T06:43:00.000-05:00

The kids survived another year of school. On the last day of school, my daughter visited "Michigan Adventures" an amusement park. Her only regret for the day was not riding a scary ride sooner. She found that it was more fun than scary. The school took three buses filled with band and choir students and were supposed to arrive back at 9pm. At 9:50 it rolled into the school parking lot. My son and I waited for an hour, because we got there early. Gack!! The drive is about 2 1\2 hours long. Apparantly a few kids had too much to eat and drink and needed several stops along the way. You would think that the drivers would have planned for the stops, since this is an annual event.

My son, 11, and I did have some quality time, too. Not only did we sit in the car waiting for an hour with nothing to do, but talk, I also took him golfing in the afternoon. His last day was a half day at school and I was going to leave him at home while I worked. I had mixed feelings about leaving him on his own. He wasn't excited about it either. A co-worker said, "It's the last day of school. You should take him golfing." So, I did. We played 18 holes and got a cart. He has never played 18 and and it was his first time playing from a cart. I think he enjoyed the cart more than the golf.

He wanted to drive the cart and I let him a couple times. The course's liability insurance won't cover damages caused by someone driving a cart without a driver's license.

He had fun anyway. His lessons have really paid off, too. He hit the fairway more often than me and is really starting to get some distance, too. He aimed several good-natured "in your face" comments in my direction. He played well, but I still kicked his ass. I expect he will be kicking mine in a couple years, though.

Oh, both kids were promoted to the next grade. Whew!

Birthday Cake

2005-06-06T05:22:00.000-05:00

My son, 11, baked me a birthday cake at his mom's house. Chocolate with chocolate frosting and he even iced a "happy birthday dad" on it. Very tasty indeed. That was the first birthday cake I've received in three years, which was the last time my mom baked me a cake. He added candles, but refrained from rebaking the cake by not including a candle for each year of my life.

Which reminds me: I need to get my fire extinguisher recharged.

Support

2005-05-28T07:04:00.000-05:00

Being a single-dad with primary custody of two kids is expensive. For the past two years plus, I've footed almost all of the kids' expenses. Their mom worked a part-time job and didn't seem to make enough to pitch in. Now, she has a new full-time job and has money to pitch in, but wants to keep the friend of the court out of it. The friend of the court (FOC) orders and monitors child support and parenting time issues. She wants to negotiate every item of expense. She says it will be better for the kids. I wonder how that would be?

The FOC would tell her how much to pay every month and automatically withdraw that amount and pay it to me. No negotiating. Fewer opportunities to argue. Seems that would be better for the kids. She wants to buy a house and doesn't want her credit report to show that she owes child support. Getting a home loan is apparently a close run thing. She keeps bringing that up as if that is going to motivate me to forgo FOC. How is that better for the kids?

Beach

2005-05-04T19:56:00.000-05:00

I was lucky, I grew up on the beach. We lived on Lake Michigan from the time I was 5. I have spent more time alone on the beach than I did with human company. Ever wander out onto the ice of one of the big lakes? The ice is not flat like on a small lake, instead it has been developed by waves crashing against the shore and freezing and then the ice shelf moves further from shore as additional waves pound the shelf adding more weight. This leads to lots of lumps and bumps and even ice caves. Beautiful and amazing, but no skating on Lake Michigan.

During the spring you can wander the beach finding flotsam washed ashore. When I was a kid I often found aluminum fishing floats partially buried in the sand, but that type of fishing isn't done much on the Lake anymore. Bottles, logs, and even boards from sunken boats can be found on the beach in the spring. The Great Lakes have claimed the lives of thousands of sailors and finding a deck plank is a sobering experience.

During the summer, the water may warm up to 70 degrees (fahrenheit folks). As a kid, the water could be 60 and you'd still go swimming and spend nearly the whole day in the water. I told an acquaintance from Florida about swimming in 60 ish degree water and he said, "no way, you'd get hypothermia." I take my son to the beach now and I'll ask him if he's cold and he says, "no Dad", even though his lips are blue, he is covered in goose bumps and he is shivering. Then he runs back to the water before I tell him to stay out and warm up for awhile. My daughter is more sensible. No one I know died of hypothermia.

During the fall, the storms turn the Lake gray and the water churns with foam covered white caps as the waves slam against the beach. The wind whips around your clothes and you wonder how you could have spent so many days swimming in something so dark and angry. The beach is empty again of the summer tourists and it is all mine.

Time to golf

2005-04-29T06:02:00.000-05:00

Now that tax season is over it is time to golf. I've been golfing three times already, which is pretty good for Northern Michigan in April. We usually have snow on the ground. Well, we did have snow on the ground last weekend and rain showers in the forecast for this weekend. I'll have to golf during the week while it is sunny.

Who needs to work anyway? Hmmmm, I need a new roof for my house, or a wedge for my golf bag. What's it to be?

Tax season

2005-01-23T10:57:00.000-05:00

Tax season begins... This year my son hasn't gotten misty-eyed at the prospect of three plus months of his dad being busy all the time. Sundays, being the only day I don't work, puts a lot of pressure on doing something special on my rest day. Today, we're going to our local hobby shop and buy a new model for my son. We have a special set up in the basement where we can assemble models together. I still have a ship model to complete. What a great way to spend time. It's quiet and we chat the whole time. Meanwhile, my daughter will spend her time role-playing at Neopets, a kid safe web site.

Changing fatherhood

2005-01-17T06:30:00.000-05:00

Priorities are changing. The definition of american fatherhood is changing.

Monty Python

2005-01-10T22:07:00.000-05:00

Dear Sir,

My kids love Monty Python's Flying Circus and of course the "Search for the Holy Grail". We've been watching a DVD collection my friend John lent us. Tonight a skit about Chartered Accountants, Englands CPAs, played. My daughter laughed and laughed. She laughed way too loud and long for the daughter of a certified public accountant. The gist of the sketch being that accountancy is boring, boring, boring and Michael Palin's character, the CA, wants more adventure. Lion-taming is his new career choice. John Cleese's character, a career counselor, is skeptical. I object. Palin's character chose banking in the end. Banking is more boring than accounting.

Sincerely,

Chuck P. Annoyed

PS: Is it really necessary to use British humour?

Been awhile

2004-12-14T07:01:00.000-05:00

Been awhile since I've posted, which is so typical of me. Thanks Joanne for waking me up.

Dr. Phil's parenting book?

2004-09-30T05:39:00.000-05:00

I don't really know who Dr. Phil is. I don't watch Oprah and I haven't watched his show either. I might take a peak at his show to see how accurate the description of his media antics are in this article.

Pitiful

2004-09-14T05:16:00.000-05:00

An article by another Blogger joanneslife.blogspot.com, got me to thinking. She said she was in a store and trying to reach the top shelf for an item and a couple guys just walked by her without helping her. At first I thought, why didn't she ask? Then I thought, guys are ready to save a damsel in distress. Then I thought: I was just in a similar situation.

A couple weeks ago my daughter and I were grocery shopping. R said she needed "feminine care products". I'm reasonably up on how the female body works and what is happening that special time of the month, but I know bupkiss about the products. My daughter, at 13, is just learning about her "monthly visitor". There we are perusing the shelves of pads, tampons, etc and I'm stumped. She knew she wanted pads. That narrows the field down to 132 choices. You've got your maxi, maxi-thin, light days, heavy days, thin, blah-blah-blah. What do I know? I begin to pick up packages and ask, "What about these, sweetie?" "No, they have wings, dad" and "They're too thin, dad" "too thick" and so on. Meanwhile, I counted three women that just walked by without even glancing our way. Is this something that is seen everyday? Dad picking out pads? I would say it is seen less often than a shortie trying to reach the top shelf for a can of baked beans. I should have asked for help, but my daughter would have had an aneurysm on the spot.

T.V., adolescents and sex

2004-09-08T05:30:00.000-05:00

duh

and, been away for awhile. Summer time is kid time. We've been golfing, camping, etc. Fun times.

Golfing disaster

2004-07-18T12:02:00.000-05:00

I haven't been golfing for two weeks, because of a pulled muscle in my back. I really muscle the club around sometimes. Remember: Timing and excellerate through the ball releasing the club to hit the ball square. Gah!! Took the kids golfing today and my back was okay, but my son decided to have a meltdown on the second hole. Instead of allowing his behavior to piss me off, I just didn't let him play and he had to follow my daughter and me around the course. After a few holes I asked him if he wanted to play, but the little monster said no. He can get really cranky playing golf and yet he says he likes playing. I think it is more a brother and sister thing than a golf thing.

Who's easier to raise: boy v. girl?

2004-07-18T05:49:00.000-05:00

Another MSN article. I find the emphasis on "mom" and lack of references to "dad" in this article annoying. In any case, both of my kids offer challenges in raising them right. My daughter is sweet, but has turned shy and retiring. Big difference from just a year ago. Blame middle-school sniping by other girls. I'm trying to minimize that effect. My son, the sensitive guy, can be prickly and moody. I blame his mom...joke. Both make me laugh every day. I wouldn't say either is easier or harder to raise based on their gender. They are just different.

Russian Girl

2004-07-16T19:41:00.000-05:00

I'm a single-dad in a town that has few opportunities to seek out and find compatible women, I signed up in Yahoo personals. I haven't put a picture up and I haven't gotten a lot of hits. That's okay, because I'm still a little leery about getting involved with someone at this stage of the child-rearing game. However, I did get an unusual response from a woman in Russia! I wonder if it's for real. I have doubts, of course, but what could they possibly expect to get out of a fake personals contact? Am I naive? Anyway, I'm on guard, but I sent a reply and got another letter back a day later. It was an exceptionally long letter, full of details, and questions, but no questions regarding my wealth, ssn, or credit card number. Is that coming? I'm still on guard, but I just sent a letter back to her and we'll see where this goes. It is my understanding that Russians love their children. If she's real, then she's vivacious, beautiful(picture included in second letter) and family oriented. I wonder where a woman like that is closer to home? Anyone got an answer?

LeMonde soak your head in a pond

2004-07-16T14:15:00.000-05:00

Greg LeMonde, former Tour champion, is out of line and losing fans with his statements regarding Armstrong and doping. LeMonde was a great cyclist who biked when cycling was small in the states. Okay, so it is still small in the states, but Armstrong is making real "sports" money, which is something LeMonde didn't get. I've heard rumours that LeMonde was bitter. He has proven it. Come on Greg, pull your head out!

Teen sex

2004-07-11T08:10:00.000-05:00

As the father of a 13 y.o. daughter and 11 y.o. son, the topic of sex is being broached more and more often and usually by me. I don't want my kids growing up with a pornographic sense of what sex is, but I also don't want them growing up thinking sex is "dirty". I laid the groundwork several years ago on sex discussions with my kids by reading books on the reproductive system. Now, it's time to discuss the emotional apects of sex. We can't forget the dangers of unprotected sex or the dream/goal shattering effect of an unwanted, teenage pregnancy. Gahhh! Here is a general article by msnbc on teen sex. Not a bad attempt at bringing out the general issues related to discussing sex with your kids.

Hey ladies!

2004-07-06T07:43:00.000-05:00

If you're wondering whether dating a single dad is worthwhile check out this article. I can attest to being able to do the laundry and help the kids with homework.

Porn Blogs

2004-07-05T09:21:00.000-05:00

What's up with all the porn blogs on blogspot? I enjoy looking over blogs listed as "Recently Updated" and it seems that more and more of the blogs are porn related. I'm not a prude, but there is so much porn on the internet that it is becoming more and more kid unfriendly. A couple years ago my daughter used yahoo to look up "Pokemon" at her grandmother's house. She clicked on one of the sites and was rewarded with a hardcore porn site. That took a lot of explaining and resulted in installing a parental control software. I've had that software on my computer for a number of years and it isn't 100% effective, but it helps. What's a parent to do? I don't let the kids use the internet without me supervising. Is it censorship? No, it is responsible parenting. I want my kids to grow up with a healthy outlook toward sex and porn doesn't promote that outlook.